Protecting Yourself

Grooming

Grooming is when a person builds a relationship with a child, young person or an adult who’s at risk so they can abuse them and manipulate them into doing things. The abuse is usually sexual or financial, but it can also include other illegal acts.

Sometimes when you rent a property or are getting paid cash in hand, there’s a chance that a bad landlord or employer could sexually exploit you. You must know that you do not have to obey what they are telling you to do. You have the right to say no and get help. It is not your fault if someone is trying to take advantage of you, so there is no shame or guilt in reaching out to a trusted organisation or the police for help.

Types of grooming

Grooming can take place online or in person and it can happen over a short or long period of time – from days to years.

Online

Groomers are good at lying about who they are, particularly online where they can create a false identity and pretend to be younger than they are.

People can be groomed online through:

social media networks
text messages and messaging apps, like WhatsApp
email
text, voice and video chats in forums, games and apps
In person
A groomer can be a stranger or someone the victim already knows and trusts, for example through a friend or family, or at a club they go to.

Signs of grooming

It can be difficult to tell if someone is being groomed – the signs aren’t always obvious and may be hidden.

Some signs to look out for:

Are they being secretive about how they’re spending their time?
Do they have an older boyfriend or girlfriend?
Do they have money or new things like clothes and mobile phones that they can’t or won’t explain?
Are they drinking or taking drugs?
Are they spending more or less time than usual online or on their devices?
Do they seem upset or withdrawn?
Are they using sexual language you wouldn’t expect them to know?
Are they spending more time away from home or going missing for periods of time?
A person won’t know they’re being groomed, they will trust their abuser who is giving them lots of attention and gifts. Also, their groomer may have warned them not to talk to anyone about it.

Report it

Grooming is an offence. If you suspect a person is being groomed, even if you’re not sure, please tell someone.

If you think you’re being groomed, you should tell someone. For more help and information, please visit: https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/gr/grooming/